The True Feelings Of A Technical Immigrant

My MCAT is less than two weeks away, and needless to say I am stressed. The Medical College Admissions Test, a very simple name, for a very complicated exam.   Why am I stressed over one exam? Why does one 8 hour period of my life weigh so heavily on my mind? Why is it the constant thing on my mind, forefront before everything else? Why have I allowed myself to put everything on hold for this one exam?             Is it because I feel as if my entire future is dependent on this one exam? Yeah, probably. I have convinced myself that this one number will be the defining number of my life. I have decided that one number will be what represents me. A number will define a human being. A score, from one exam, will explain all my complexities. And I refuse to see how wrong that is. I refuse to acknowledge that a number will not define me, my actions, my thoughts, my hard work will, but a number will not.             Yet here I sit, overwhelmed and filled with anxiety all o

I go to therapy . Every week or every other week I see an on - campus therapist . Why? Because I am anxious, and stressed - probably more than normal, probably to a point that’s not healthy . But for a long time, I didn’t tell many people I went to therapy and it’s not a known fact-even to the people I am close with . It’s not something I’m ashamed of, but it’s  not something you just talk about.    However, I  wouldn't   tell many people . I would cover it up with “Oh, I have an appointment” or a meeting, or I’m studying . But I would never tell people I go to therapy . But here’s the thing this isn’t the first time  seeing a therapist . It’s actually my second . The first time I went I was a senior in high school - almost two years ago . Therapy is a hard thing, it’s almost like Schrödinger’s cat except you’re the box . The idea of Schrodinger’s