16 things in 2016

We are now well into the new year. And I have started and stopped, and restarted and then completed deleted every “New Year” post. But that’s because I learnt that the next year is based on a lot of hope. Hope of new beginnings, hope of learning, hope of happiness. And while hope is good, right now I feel like I want to focus on something entirely different. So this is not a post about my New Year Resolutions, this is not a post about the future because that’s mysterious and unknown. This post is about the 16 things I learned/loved/experienced in 2016.

1.     Loss

2016 started off rough. Like really, really rough. Not just for me, for my whole family. It was a hard time. And beginning of last year was like a nightmare, honestly I’ve suppressed the memory deep into the abyss of my mind because focus on the good stuff, right? But last year taught that loss is inevitable, but it’s not the absolute worst. I learned that time, love, and patience heal the deepest of wounds.

2.     Priorities

If there’s one thing that I had a hard time doing it was prioritizing (ask my dad, he’ll tell you). And this one was a hard one to learn because I’m stubborn and I definitely thought I had my priorities in order. But I didn’t. At least not at first, but slowly I learned that something really, really matter and others can wait. (TBH, I’m still struggling with this one, ask my mom)

3.     Friends

The people you surround yourself with are super important. I learned that sayings like “show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future” or “birds of the same feather flock together” are actually true. If you surround yourself with good, well-rounded kind people, you will be good, well-rounded and a kind person; negative people will only bring negativity into your life. However, I also learned that you should branch out of people just like you, I need to make sure I surround myself with a diverse group of people who can guide me right. Some of these friends I have met through my sorority, some I met through class, and some from GroupMe, but regardless how our paths crossed they have made a lasting impact on my life.

Side Note: Shout out to Jeryl for being my Chemistry pal and bringing me water!

4.     Personal Care

If you look at my bank account (which you probs shouldn’t b/c it’s a sad) you’ll see I spent a lot on self-care items like make-up, face masks, pore strips, etc. etc. Why? Because I learned that my skin is very, very important. Not on just a superficial level on wanting to look good, but also just because those are things I enjoy. And to do the things I love makes me feel less stressed and more relaxed.

5.     Tri-Delta

This. Is. The. Best. Thing. To. Happen. To. Me.

Honestly, in January 2016-sororities, rushing, large groups of people-were the last thing I thought I was going to do in college. But here I am January 2017 and it’s the best thing to have happened. It’s given me a new outlook on things. It’s made me realize and learn things about myself. Whatever I say about TriDelta will never give it justice because it is honestly beyond words how amazing it is. Every single person I have met through it has been loving, inspiring, just over all awesome amazing girls who are there for me.

6.     New things aren’t bad things

I am not a fan of change. Anything that has to do with change. Mostly because I found comfort in what I know, and I too stubborn to readjust. But I learnt that change is very, very healthy. And that change helps us evolve as people and is critical to life. And change can lead to so really great things.

7.     You are not the person you were yesterday

If you asked me where I was going to college at the beginning of 2016, I would have looked you right in the eye and with conviction declared “Anywhere but UTD”. And where did I end up going to college you ask? UTD. But here’s the deal, I love this place. It’s only been one semester and it has given me so much. 10/10 recommend.

8.     The dark and twisty

It’s totally okay and normal to be dark and twisty. Sometimes you have it for a day, and other times you have it for a while, but regardless it is okay. And it’s not wrong, you don’t have to hide it. Talk to people about it. Go to therapy, find a pal, do something. But embrace the dark and twisty, and work on a path to the happy times; and slowly but surely you’ll accomplish it.

9.     Honesty

Telling the truth, and being honest are important. It’s the key to life. You hear it all time in school: be honest. But they never tell you, who. Who are you supposed to be honest to? Yourself. That’s who. You really need to honest to yourself. It’s very important. Be honest, but like in a positive way. Be honest to yourself in knowing your limits. Be honest to yourself if you’re ever going to actually study for that test or just read the notes before the exam. Honesty is crucial.

10.  Insecurities

SURPRISE, I have insecurities! And I am totally secure with my insecurities. I am totally okay with telling you that I’m insecure with my arms because they look like chicken breasts. of me are my insecurities, but I shouldn’t let them stop me. For example, if I see a really cute top that kind of shows of my arms, I just have to take a deep breath because I’m the only one that cares. My insecurities are a part of me, but they shouldn’t hold me back from growing. They in some weird and twisted way make me a better, stronger person.

11.  Peanut Butter

During finals week, I ate half a jar of peanut butter in one sitting. No crackers, no apples, nothing, just a spoon and creamy peanut butter. And I loved it. Was it unhealthy? Yes. Was is nutritional? No. Was I happy? YES. Sometimes you have to do weird, “wrong” things to be happy. You should indulge yourself every so often. And peanut butter taught that it’s okay to skip the gym and eat (sometimes, not all the time.)

12.  My Family

Family is mind blowing. They can’t leave you. They love you for your weirdness, and they feed you. How great are they? And if there’s one thing I have excess of is family (but I ain’t mad tho). For me my family is my life line. They keep me grounded and sane. My mom, my dad, my brothers, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my grandma, they keep me accountable. For all their loudness. For all their strangeness, they’re the best people to surround myself with.

13.  Religion

Religion is a very touchy subject. Mostly because it’s very personal and you don’t want to hurt someone because you don’t see their point of view. But here’s the thing about my religion-it’s not a religion. It’s a way of life. And that’s a hard idea to grasp. But in the last year I have learnt why it’s so important to emphasize that religion isn’t something that happens on Friday afternoons for 30 minutes, but rather part of my actions, thoughts, and behavior with other people. I’m still learning about my religion, and I’m not the “perfect” Muslim. And maybe by some people’s standards I’m not even a good Muslim, but I don’t care. Because while religion is personal, it affects a lot of things in my life and I should take time and understand my religion. In 2016 I learnt that religion is not black and white, yes and no, there is a lot of grey space.

14.  Colorful Pens

I invested in a pack of Sharpie color pens and I can honestly say I can never go back to regular pens. Colorful pens give a weird sense of happiness. (Do not judge me). They help me stay organize and keep my things in order which is very important. I have a planner which is color coded which my life depends on. But most importantly I learned that my normal way of just remembering what the homework won’t work anymore considering there’s a lot to do and remember. So colorful pens are a move. (Side note: is it still cool to say “move”?)

15.  Adventure

I love traveling and going new places. In 2016, I went on the best trip of my life: Chicago 2016 with my best friend. And let me tell you it was fabulous. The trip made me realize I love exploring, adventures, and walking for hours on end around unfamiliar areas. I learned that I thrive off adventure, doing something new and learning something new about myself.

16.  Me

I’ve learnt a lot about myself in 2016. I learnt how much I can grow as a person in as little as a few months. I’ve learnt more about my likes and dislikes, I learnt about the type of people I want to surround myself with. And most of all, I learnt that I will never fully understand myself, my feeling and my life, and I need to be okay with it. I am complicated and twisty and it’s hard to understand.