Because we are progressive.
My parents grew up in cities, I grew up in a suburb in
America. But no matter how urban society gets, the backward village mentality still
haunts exists. We see ourselves as progressive. Accepting of people from different
religions, cultures and races.
Because we are progressive.
In fact, we are so progressive that we forgot to look back
and realize that we left our girls behind. We told our sons to be progressive.
To value women. To treat women with respect.
But when did we teach our daughters? When did we tell our
daughters that they deserve respect? They deserve to be valued? When did we
tell our daughters that they are no different from our sons?
We didn’t. Because we are progressive.
We moved to cities, we moved across the world, but we remind
our daughters that they should only go out when the sun is up because someone
else’s son is out when the sun is down. And he can be out because he is a strong man and you are a
weak girl. We tell our daughters we are concerned for her because if she gets
raped it’s because she went out.
Because we are progressive.
We explain to our daughters that she must study, that It’s
the 21st century and women can study too. But when she says “I don’t
want to go to college/study this”, we remind her that she her other option is
marriage. Because for girls its study or marriage. But when our sons give up college,
quit they’re job we open our doors and support them. We push him to get an
education. We tell him to get a new job, or learn a trade. We actively look for
options for him.
Because we are progressive.
We let out sons go out at night. But not our daughters. We
even realize there is a double-standard, but it’s for her own safety. But he
will be safe? And if he is safe why isn’t she?
Because we are progressive.
We are so progressive that we’ve forgotten what we really
came to do.
Dear Parents,
Don’t
instill the fear in your daughter that she could be raped. Don’t make her fear
anything. Let her be aware of the dangers, be cautious of them. But don’t let
this fact of her being rape control her life, don’t let it dictate when she can
go out, or what she can wear. And if you do that make sure that you remind your
son the same rule. Because progress isn’t accepting other cultures, races, and
religions, but rather it’s accepting that our daughters are no different than
our sons.
Dear Parents,
When
your daughter tells you she doesn’t want to study (even in jest), do not reply
that she could always get married. Because that reminds her that the only
reason she’s not married is not by her own choice, but by the simple fact that
she’s studying. And if marriage is the second option than why is not for your
son? If your son says the same, then reply the same? We opened the doors of
education for our daughters because we want to seem progressive. Real progress
is understanding that marriage is not the fall back. It’s not an option, it’s a
choice for both son and daughter.
Dear Parents,
If you
won’t say/ask your son to do it then don’t say/ask your daughter.
Because progress isn’t telling our daughters what to do, it’s
showing her that she has all the options of your son.
Both son and daughter came from the same place, with the
same genes; one is not better than the other.
We are not progressive. But we can start to be.
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